why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
