She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
