it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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