So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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