As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
