in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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