You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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