i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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