jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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