We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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