The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
