you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
