I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
