It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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