Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
last night I used snow as a chaser
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