I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
