I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
we're making bets on your personal life
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
