i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
