is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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