I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
