Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
