I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
