just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize