how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
