i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
