haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
