Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
