Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
