I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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