Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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