He is like the real live version of the state fair..
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
