What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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