Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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