Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
