They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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