You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
