let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
