I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
