drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
this hospital has no fireball
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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