Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
the liver wants what the liver wants
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
