PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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