how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
