Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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