i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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