Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
