He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
