first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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