I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
