My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
