Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
