Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
