she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
