she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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