I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
