new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
